Writing Tips from Sex and the City

carrie bradshaw writing on her laptop in a hairy coat

This is where I call bullshit. CARRIE NEVER READS!

Fresh out of shows to binge, my girlfriend and I are watching Sex and the City all the way through.

It’s my first time watching the whole thing (okay, maybe second) and her chance to brush up on the one or two lines she doesn’t know by heart.

She’s a writer too. So as we watch, we’ve had a running commentary going about the show’s writing (way better in seasons 1–4) and how writing is depicted in the show.

We’ve put together a list of writing Dos and Don’ts based on our observations of Carrie Bradshaw’s process and writing style.

Have a theme and stick to it

Every episode revolves around a central question which Carrie explores in her column.

“Are relationships the religion of the 90s?”

“Twenty-something girls: friends… or foe?”

“Can you be friends with an ex?”

“Are men just women with balls?” (Carrie’s words)

All the action in the episode and, we can assume, Carrie’s column for that week focus on that central theme. It’s the perfect premise for an ensemble show where four characters can depict four different ways of looking at the main theme.

Whether you’re writing a tweet or a novel, you really only get to say one thing.

Nocturnal Animals is about what happens when we throw someone away.

Infinite Jest is about what entertainment is doing to us.

Get Out is about the horrors of everyday, middle-class racism.

The success of these stories and of SATC is in that singular focus.

By giving each episode just one thing to say, the show’s creators were able to cover the broad subject of single life in your 30s and lay the groundwork for shows like Girls and Broad City that had other things to say about it. But they didn’t try to eat the whole elephant in one bite and say everything in each episode.

The Lesson: If you have lots of things to say, write lots of things. You get one theme per piece of writing.

Carrie Bradshaw writing on her laptop in Sex and the City

Image: HBO

Have a niche and know your reader

Carrie writes about dating for single women in their 30s in New York. Her column is for women like her. Her appeal is broader than that — you may remember the cringe-inducing virgin 20-something who wants to be Carrie— but she gains that broad readership by aiming small.

In On Writing, Stephen Kings says to picture your ideal reader,

I think that every novelist has a single ideal reader; that at various points during the composition of a story, the writer is thinking, ‘I wonder what she will think when she reads this part?”

For whatever reason, this is controversial advice. There’s another school out there that will tell you to write like nobody’s watching. Write for yourself.

But if you’re writing for yourself, you are your ideal reader.

The lesson: Have a niche and be as specific as possible. “Single 30-something women in Manhattan” is a better niche than “New Yorkers” or “singles” or “women.”

Deadlines are magic. Be consistent.

You hear Carrie talk about deadlines a lot. Usually, she’s using them as an excuse to get out of a commitment or to cover for a lie. But as far as I can tell, she seems to make her deadline every time.

A deadline makes your work real and forces you to sit down, spark a Marlboro Light if you must, and get the words on the page.

Deadlines help you think too. Once you have your theme, a due date will force you to have something to say about it by a date certain.

Like Carrie, you’ll find yourself thinking about what you’re writing in your free time, which is usually when your “Ah-ha” moment will strike.

The lesson: A deadline helps you write faster and better.

And then I realized…

The fun of Sex and the City isn’t watching Carrie work diligently and craft effortless, clean prose. It’s watching her lead a life that’s a dumpster-fire and aspirational at the same time.

The show features plenty of lessons for writers in what not to do.

Living beyond your means

Ellen Litman has three pieces of advice for writers,

“Don’t go into debt.
Don’t go into debt.
Don’t go into debt.”

Aspiring Carrie Bradshaws might want to embrace a minimalist wardrobe or write about dating in a more affordable city.

Brunching when you should be reading

This is where I call bullshit. CARRIE NEVER READS!* Neither does Mr. Big or any of the other characters whose real-life versions would have gotten where they are through lots and lots of reading. (Except for Miranda).

Stephen King again,

“If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”

*Except when she’s dating the writer in season 5…and gets called out for being a slow reader.

Living for drama.

There’s a fine line between stirring the pot for material and using dysfunctional relationships as procrastination.

Writing is a solitary pursuit. As I watched, I couldn’t help but wonder how Carrie does it, considering she’s allergic to being alone and is pathologically avoidant of the kind of supportive relationships that nurture creative work.

As Ryan holiday put it, “the perfect spouse is the life hack no one told you about.”

Aidan you broke my heart sex and the city gif

Image: HBO

The Lesson: Leave your crazy at home. Make writing a priority…even if that doesn’t make for good TV.